Motherhood: Changing with the Seasons

In the past year my life as a Mom has changed quite a bit.  Our three little ones are moving from baby to big kids.  We have officially moved out of baby stage and into a new season in our life. First it was the crib, then the slowly after came the diapers, finally the pacifier...  The transition so smooth and seamless it was hard for anyone to notice. Even me... For the big kids, came showers instead of tubby and homework instead of meltdowns.  The lunches I make go into lunch boxes instead of on the table in their own specific places and life has changed... again...




I don't know if I will ever get used to the ever changing world of motherhood.  Often times the good stages last about half the time of rough ones.  Time goes by,  the sun rises and it sets and we start a new day.  It isn't until I sit down to organize pictures or to write in baby books that I realize the days seem to be moving faster.  Often times I get lost looking at pictures as tears fill my eyes wondering where all of the precious memories have gone... And then I feel a calm come over me, telling me that this new stage of Motherhood will be good.  That it is time to fine tune all of the repetitive actions I have taken to make these little ones have a good place in the world.  To be kind and care for others and always help others first, leave it better than you found it and so it goes...


In the trenches of Motherhood it is easy to get caught up in the everyday.  When your children are young, you have no choice but to live in the moment, because let's be honest... We are at our children's mercy. 


I went for a walk today which is so rare for me.  I was in need of some exercise after a long week of fighting off a bad cold alongside my three little ones colds.  I love walks because from the first step my mind races faster than my feet can take me.  I think, I solve, sometimes I pray... Something happened for me today that hasn't happened since my kids were born.  I started to think about the next step in life I will take after my kids all enter into school.  It was an odd feeling.  For so many years now I have worried about the next step and whether the sacrifices I made in order to share a front seat into my children's lives was the right one.  I have always felt worried that I didn't have a desire to return to work let alone what I was going to work towards once I got to that point.  The only thing I knew was that I was not interested in remaining a classroom teacher.  On my walk I thought about what it would be like try something I have never done, why at this point in my life why the sky shouldn't be the limit... What have I spent the past 7 years of my life worried about?  Why have I allowed my shallow thoughts convince me that the only things I should become are the ones I am already good at?  I allowed myself to dream again.  Far beyond where I have ever dreamt before... 


It is now that the little moments of everyday fill me with so much joy.  Watching my first grader work through his math problems, the snuggles that are so few and far between, listening to him read to me... Sigh...  My brown eyed beautiful middle child who takes on life with such grace, who shows compassion at it's finest and who asks the hard questions.  Our caboose who spends her everyday keeping pace with the big kids, who is curious, feisty, and is guaranteed to make you laugh.  It is now that life is happening.  It is now that I see all of the ways that I have shaped them and they have changed me.  Maybe motherhood is giving me the stairs to reach the stars... Because after all, that is what I have taught them to do right?   I see it everyday, when Shawn talks about school, or when Madison recognizes a word she can read.  When Lauren cuts on a line with scissors for the first time.   


Changing into the next season of motherhood feels really good.  Refreshing.  The hard part is not over, nor has it even begun in some aspects.  Some seasons will be harder to trudge through more than others, but this season we are in right now is inspiring...